Today is a day that I tried to go to Yoga 3 times and none prevailed. Work and all other things kept me away from it. All 3 times. It was in my thoughts. For me, yoga has taught me to live in the moment. Things are clearer and more aligned, not just my body, my thoughts and my awareness. I know, it sounds pretty empty talk, but it is not. I am experiencing and aware of it. Real cool thing. Coolest time in my life.
I noticed that I was irritated a few times, maybe about 6-8 times in total. It may sounds a lot, but it is not. I am counting every small irritations. I noticed that as soon as I start to feel the irritations, I noticed right away so I managed to direct it to a different energy, then it dissolved.
I had pretty hard work day. All sorts of matters need my attention and response and I worked late. By the end of day, I still manage to remain in a blissful mind. Vivian and I went to Blenze to have our favorite hot chocolate. We sat outside under the heating lamps. Really hot, a sauna pretty much. We sat there and talked about "what if"s, our favorite topic. We got to pick our magics, Vivian's "time stopping" and "mind reading" magic and my "invisible" magic. We dreamed about all sorts of scenarios until we start to notice that we started to sweat under the heat. Stroll through town, pick up some nibblies from Urban Fair and landed home. Now we sprawling out in our Zen room and zoomed out to our own spaces. I am sipping on some Amaretto and surprise surprise, blogging and Vivian playing with my iphone. I love time, it is a rich stream of events, thoughts, sensations and beauties.
I am not looking forward to anything but enjoying the current moment. It is the best ever time, that is "now".
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
To learn to love and accept myself
This morning we did lots of splits type of stretching. It is the part I want to do most and fear most. It was intense and painful for me. It is more painful than it should be though, because fear adds at least 50% more pain.
Do I have fear in my life? The answer is a big YES. Fears come from wanting things too much. Fear of not getting it, fear of screwing up, fear of losing something or someone, fear of the pain we have to endure to get where we are going. The impatience in other words. Let go. Let go of my fear, my deepest fear. I know what it is-fear of not being loved. As Shelly mentioned in the class, we have to love ourselves. I need to do that, to love and accept myself. It will naturally take away the fear of not being loved.
I need to let go and I will as I am learning to let go of fear about my tight hamstring.
Do I have fear in my life? The answer is a big YES. Fears come from wanting things too much. Fear of not getting it, fear of screwing up, fear of losing something or someone, fear of the pain we have to endure to get where we are going. The impatience in other words. Let go. Let go of my fear, my deepest fear. I know what it is-fear of not being loved. As Shelly mentioned in the class, we have to love ourselves. I need to do that, to love and accept myself. It will naturally take away the fear of not being loved.
I need to let go and I will as I am learning to let go of fear about my tight hamstring.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
bending
Bending is so good and so addictive. I love what it does to me. It is like a spring cleaning for my body.
Sean actually mentioned "Yoga High" in the class. I am so happy to hear. Last Saturday Vivian and I "floating" around in Yaletown are a common phonomenon, yay! I really love that feeling, feeling weightless and utter bliss. More to come, great news!
How I love sitting in my zen room after Yoga. I am sitting here imagining the day that I could do a split and feel ease in it, the bliss that comes with it is going to be fascinating. Today's class, I was not sure if I was in a Ballet class. The pose are literally Ballet pose and those what I considered difficult. I am rather thrilled that one day, maybe one day I can do it with grace. Life is good that you can still have hope to learn that after you reach 40. I love that thought. See, 40, my life just started. If I am going to live till I am 80, I have half of my life left, it is better to be good. I am looking forward to my journey.
Sean actually mentioned "Yoga High" in the class. I am so happy to hear. Last Saturday Vivian and I "floating" around in Yaletown are a common phonomenon, yay! I really love that feeling, feeling weightless and utter bliss. More to come, great news!
How I love sitting in my zen room after Yoga. I am sitting here imagining the day that I could do a split and feel ease in it, the bliss that comes with it is going to be fascinating. Today's class, I was not sure if I was in a Ballet class. The pose are literally Ballet pose and those what I considered difficult. I am rather thrilled that one day, maybe one day I can do it with grace. Life is good that you can still have hope to learn that after you reach 40. I love that thought. See, 40, my life just started. If I am going to live till I am 80, I have half of my life left, it is better to be good. I am looking forward to my journey.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Back in the saddle
After 4 days of break, I am back to my exercises. Yes, I do miss it and think 4 days are a bit too long as a break, but it was a good break.
I did not sweat as much today maybe I was not pushing hard enough. Speak of obstacles in my body, the split pose is definitely one. I see the distance ahead of me and I am not approaching the light fast. A bit by bit is what I can expect from this and maybe stall at most of time. At least I am making tiny progress.
I am planning on doing 3 tomorrow to through my body back into the stretch land and my mind to a stillness.
I did not sweat as much today maybe I was not pushing hard enough. Speak of obstacles in my body, the split pose is definitely one. I see the distance ahead of me and I am not approaching the light fast. A bit by bit is what I can expect from this and maybe stall at most of time. At least I am making tiny progress.
I am planning on doing 3 tomorrow to through my body back into the stretch land and my mind to a stillness.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
day 2 of the break
I have done Yoga in two days. It was intentional. It is nice to give my body a nice break to recover a bit.
I am missing it though. The flow it brings to my life is so supple and juicy. I need to be at Yoga tomorrow.
I am missing it though. The flow it brings to my life is so supple and juicy. I need to be at Yoga tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Our first head stand
Yay, Vivian and I did our very first headstand yesterday together. We are so happy and are filled with joy.
Got to go now. Chat later!
...
Now here is later. I meant to write yesterday but yesterday was full of excitements and I was busy savoring the moments and literally no time to sit down and write. Of course, there are many things on my plate as well, but I managed to get what has to be done done and leave the rest of time enjoying the time.
Vivian and I went to Shelly's class together yesterday. Shelly often surprises me with her teaching. I don't usually have any expectation going in but come out with some surprise. Biggest surprise was our headstands. When we are called to try our headstands, I was not expected me to be able to do it at all and was only hoping that it might bring me closer. Vivian was right beside me trying. I heard that she whispered "mom I am up" and I peaked over and saw her straight up on her head and I was instantly encouraged and I kicked and I was up there. Quite amazing feeling. We both were very happy there upside down and feeling comfortable.
Shelly was talking about "going against grain" at the beginning of the class. I thought about it after the lessons. Yes, it is one of our biggest lessons in life, when things are not going our way, it is the best opportunity for us to grow and get beyond our old selves. I don't really like on warrior post, holding my head down and with my arm stretching under my leg and linked with my other arm stretching. I don't like it when I am facing adversary either. Something I have to learn. I will learn to like the things I don't like.
Got to go now. Chat later!
...
Now here is later. I meant to write yesterday but yesterday was full of excitements and I was busy savoring the moments and literally no time to sit down and write. Of course, there are many things on my plate as well, but I managed to get what has to be done done and leave the rest of time enjoying the time.
Vivian and I went to Shelly's class together yesterday. Shelly often surprises me with her teaching. I don't usually have any expectation going in but come out with some surprise. Biggest surprise was our headstands. When we are called to try our headstands, I was not expected me to be able to do it at all and was only hoping that it might bring me closer. Vivian was right beside me trying. I heard that she whispered "mom I am up" and I peaked over and saw her straight up on her head and I was instantly encouraged and I kicked and I was up there. Quite amazing feeling. We both were very happy there upside down and feeling comfortable.
Shelly was talking about "going against grain" at the beginning of the class. I thought about it after the lessons. Yes, it is one of our biggest lessons in life, when things are not going our way, it is the best opportunity for us to grow and get beyond our old selves. I don't really like on warrior post, holding my head down and with my arm stretching under my leg and linked with my other arm stretching. I don't like it when I am facing adversary either. Something I have to learn. I will learn to like the things I don't like.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
an easy day
We both took it easy today. Vivian went to Yhot at noon and I did a lesson with Sean in the evening. No double or triple today so it feels like a holiday. We had a chance to recoup our body. My body was sore but not terribly. After the lesson tonight I actually do not feel sore any more, kind of strange that way. You would think that it should be other way around. Yoga is a strange experience, surprise me in many ways. I did Lotus sitting for the first time today. Yay! See, a small triumph all the time. Sean's class is the intermediate/advanced one. I was quite entertained to watch him to put his leg behind his shoulder then behind his head and in such an ease. He looks very comfortable in it. This guy is mode of rubber, no doubt about it. I suspected it the first time I took his lesson. 11 years of being yogi hah! I wonder when I would be able to put my leg behind my head and feel comfortable in it. I can say that I am really looking forward to it. Some might say that it is odd that anyone would have desire to do that, but for me it really motivates me somehow.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Be still and power
After 2 session (3 hours) of Anusara with Sean, Vivian and I are not feeling a hint of tiredness. Both of us really liked the lessons with Sean. We thought that it would be a hard evening for us to pull through consider we have done one just before one. The outcome is totally surprising and uplifting.
As we go into the class without any expectation and only hope that we can somehow manage two lessons, really to my surprise that I learned something transforming today. Sean has required us go to a perfect still after some hard poses. Our normal tendency is to try to loose up a bit, adjust our body to a comfortable spot through moving this and that of our bodies. His instruction is to resist and just come to a perfect still. I followed the instruction and find that I was instantly improved after the stillness when I try to do the same hard pose afterwards. Be still is something I always talked about, but actually truly go there is really a first time and the power comes after is fascinating. We also learned a new breath method through alternating our breath through our nostril before we end the session. I truly felt it at the end of 2nd class. My body quieted down and centered. I feel that I was so rested and light and I was walking in cloud nine. I have to say, of 40 years of my life, my body has never felt so good. That is astonishing.
Both Vivian and I said that if Sean is teaching another class, we will be staying and continuing. What a beautiful surprise! Both of us have prepared ourselves to be totally exhausted by now. We look at each other in awe.
Walking around Yaletown afterwards was so heavenly. It is the 2nd blog of my day and I have to document this.
We will have such beautiful sleeps tonight. Good night!
As we go into the class without any expectation and only hope that we can somehow manage two lessons, really to my surprise that I learned something transforming today. Sean has required us go to a perfect still after some hard poses. Our normal tendency is to try to loose up a bit, adjust our body to a comfortable spot through moving this and that of our bodies. His instruction is to resist and just come to a perfect still. I followed the instruction and find that I was instantly improved after the stillness when I try to do the same hard pose afterwards. Be still is something I always talked about, but actually truly go there is really a first time and the power comes after is fascinating. We also learned a new breath method through alternating our breath through our nostril before we end the session. I truly felt it at the end of 2nd class. My body quieted down and centered. I feel that I was so rested and light and I was walking in cloud nine. I have to say, of 40 years of my life, my body has never felt so good. That is astonishing.
Both Vivian and I said that if Sean is teaching another class, we will be staying and continuing. What a beautiful surprise! Both of us have prepared ourselves to be totally exhausted by now. We look at each other in awe.
Walking around Yaletown afterwards was so heavenly. It is the 2nd blog of my day and I have to document this.
We will have such beautiful sleeps tonight. Good night!
Spring is upon us
Vivian and I have goal together - do three Anusara classes. Our first time together again. Of course she has not done it and I did not either. I did 3 mixed sessions before but not 3 Anusara.
We just finished our session 1. Christine's advanced class. Lots of energy and of course I could not do some of the poses in the class but I really like it. I got some tips from the lady beside me and hope that I could move a little ahead towards my head stand. I managed to do a couple of things that I could not do before. Yay! Always love that. Today is also a special day for Christine, it is her Godmother's service which she could not attend. In the end of the session, she sang "over the rainbow" in honor of her aunt Lois. We are all lying in our backs with our eyes closed. I was choking with tears hearing her lovely voice singing that very familiar song. When Vivian just started to learn piano, I used to sing that song all the time accompanying with my stiff piano playing. I often sang it on top of my lung. I love the song and the feeling came with it. It always remind me our beautiful dreams and sensitivities. I traveled back about 8 years ago in our living room at Homer. Everything was so vivid and fresh. Now Vivian is also in the same room with me. The memory mixed with the connection with Christine's loss (more importantly her beautiful memory of her aunt/Godmother) made my emotion so potent and profound. Our memory is the best gift time gives us. Anytime, we can go back to relive that moment when our heart and soul were open and rejoiced together. One of these days, I will also look back on this day to remember the vibration, the sensation and fullness of this special day. I am very happy for this special gift today. Our time together are limited and savor the moment!
This evening Sean is teaching both classes, let's hope that Vivian and I have enough energy to pull it through. I trust that we will. Ciao!
We just finished our session 1. Christine's advanced class. Lots of energy and of course I could not do some of the poses in the class but I really like it. I got some tips from the lady beside me and hope that I could move a little ahead towards my head stand. I managed to do a couple of things that I could not do before. Yay! Always love that. Today is also a special day for Christine, it is her Godmother's service which she could not attend. In the end of the session, she sang "over the rainbow" in honor of her aunt Lois. We are all lying in our backs with our eyes closed. I was choking with tears hearing her lovely voice singing that very familiar song. When Vivian just started to learn piano, I used to sing that song all the time accompanying with my stiff piano playing. I often sang it on top of my lung. I love the song and the feeling came with it. It always remind me our beautiful dreams and sensitivities. I traveled back about 8 years ago in our living room at Homer. Everything was so vivid and fresh. Now Vivian is also in the same room with me. The memory mixed with the connection with Christine's loss (more importantly her beautiful memory of her aunt/Godmother) made my emotion so potent and profound. Our memory is the best gift time gives us. Anytime, we can go back to relive that moment when our heart and soul were open and rejoiced together. One of these days, I will also look back on this day to remember the vibration, the sensation and fullness of this special day. I am very happy for this special gift today. Our time together are limited and savor the moment!
This evening Sean is teaching both classes, let's hope that Vivian and I have enough energy to pull it through. I trust that we will. Ciao!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Vivian's spring break starting today
I had a lesson before I head to horseshoe bay to pick up Vivian. Today is her first day of spring break. I am going to have a few days of fun with my teenage daughter. We have been talking about going to yoga together. As anyone who has teenage at home, we all have learned not to make assumption or have expectation. I am so used to her plugging in her iPod and we would have fairly simple conversation then she will be immersed in her music and lots of text messages with her friends.
Vivian slips into the car and first thing she said was "Oh, mom, YOU LOOK SO GOOD! What happened to you? You are so different and you are glowing. Your skin looks so amazing. What did you do? What's going on? You look amazing! I feel that I need to get to know you again. I love you!..." I was quite stunned. I have not heard so many good compliments come out of Vivian all at once and so passionately (maybe when she was 4). I just ran out my yoga class, no time for shower, I don't even know what shape my hair was in. My skin?! Well, I have just used the towel provided to wipe off my sweats and not even a wash. Glowing? I peeked into the rear view mirror trying to see if there is any miracle. I am radiating?
We had such good time chatting together driving down the highway heading back to downtown. The topic was mostly about the yoga, what we are going to do together this weekend and how much yoga we are going to do together. Vivian is so looking forward to tonight's session.
To tell the truth, before I picked her up or even a few days ago, I was fully prepared not to overwhelm her about doing yoga with me. I will certainly encourage her to try the yoga, so I was planning to get her unlimited pass and show her the 2 locations in downtown. She might take a lesson with me out of courtesy then she would be encouraged to go try her own lessons without me. No, I was wrong. She is excited to do the lessons with me and I AM SO HAPPILY SURPRISED. The Sun is just getting brighter by the minute. I am feeling absolutely awesome. NO exaggeration here at all. We zipped home. Get changed and went out to have a bite to eat at Yopo. Vivian loved the food there. We stroll over to Yyoga to get Vivian registered and acquainted there. Tania was there and she gave Vivian a very warm welcome. My worry about Vivian would be embarrassed to be seen with her mom is goooooooooone. She was delighted the whole time. We zipped home again. Went to her orthodontists appointment, went to Lululemon's original store in Kits to pick up some sports bras. Zipped to our very first Yoga class together and of course it is Anusara class. Trish is teach the Friday evening class. It is perfect because I have never taken a lesson from Trish and that is something I could share with Vivian as our very first. She thoroughly enjoyed the class and she did very well. I was so thrilled to hear that she really really liked the class. We picked up our leftovers from lunch and headed out to the street in the night. We headed to Robson and picking the leftover from the box. It was some Shanghai noodle and we were using our hands. It tastes soooooo good that way. Vivian had a little concern about our manner and I laughed and said "thank goodness we are not famous. We have total freedom to eat while we walk and not to worry someone might recognize us. It is great to be nobody." I holding my hand really wide like a Yoga pose and enjoyed that freedom. We had good chuckles and strolling down the street and ended up in Chapters. Vivian was in 7th's Heaven. She loves read and we stayed there till there is announcement about store closing. Grabbed a few books and we walked out with high spirits. I introduced her to the little "hole in the wall" which sells amazing Eastern Meditterannean food (Shawarma I believe). $6.25 and weighed like a lead in your hand. Vivian took a bite and exhaled in excitement "AMAZING, BEST EVER!" She ate the whole thing in a few blocks of walking on Granville heading home (about 10 pm at night, Granvill still quite lively. Oh, I love Vancouver, something magic in the air all the time.).
I don't know why I am writing blog now. Is it to keep a log about my yogi life? Is it a took to keep me motivated. A training log. So far, it has been hand in hand with my yoga practice and I seems to have a lot to write about. About my new findings, about the changes in me, about whatever. I am enjoying this.
Good night!
Vivian slips into the car and first thing she said was "Oh, mom, YOU LOOK SO GOOD! What happened to you? You are so different and you are glowing. Your skin looks so amazing. What did you do? What's going on? You look amazing! I feel that I need to get to know you again. I love you!..." I was quite stunned. I have not heard so many good compliments come out of Vivian all at once and so passionately (maybe when she was 4). I just ran out my yoga class, no time for shower, I don't even know what shape my hair was in. My skin?! Well, I have just used the towel provided to wipe off my sweats and not even a wash. Glowing? I peeked into the rear view mirror trying to see if there is any miracle. I am radiating?
We had such good time chatting together driving down the highway heading back to downtown. The topic was mostly about the yoga, what we are going to do together this weekend and how much yoga we are going to do together. Vivian is so looking forward to tonight's session.
To tell the truth, before I picked her up or even a few days ago, I was fully prepared not to overwhelm her about doing yoga with me. I will certainly encourage her to try the yoga, so I was planning to get her unlimited pass and show her the 2 locations in downtown. She might take a lesson with me out of courtesy then she would be encouraged to go try her own lessons without me. No, I was wrong. She is excited to do the lessons with me and I AM SO HAPPILY SURPRISED. The Sun is just getting brighter by the minute. I am feeling absolutely awesome. NO exaggeration here at all. We zipped home. Get changed and went out to have a bite to eat at Yopo. Vivian loved the food there. We stroll over to Yyoga to get Vivian registered and acquainted there. Tania was there and she gave Vivian a very warm welcome. My worry about Vivian would be embarrassed to be seen with her mom is goooooooooone. She was delighted the whole time. We zipped home again. Went to her orthodontists appointment, went to Lululemon's original store in Kits to pick up some sports bras. Zipped to our very first Yoga class together and of course it is Anusara class. Trish is teach the Friday evening class. It is perfect because I have never taken a lesson from Trish and that is something I could share with Vivian as our very first. She thoroughly enjoyed the class and she did very well. I was so thrilled to hear that she really really liked the class. We picked up our leftovers from lunch and headed out to the street in the night. We headed to Robson and picking the leftover from the box. It was some Shanghai noodle and we were using our hands. It tastes soooooo good that way. Vivian had a little concern about our manner and I laughed and said "thank goodness we are not famous. We have total freedom to eat while we walk and not to worry someone might recognize us. It is great to be nobody." I holding my hand really wide like a Yoga pose and enjoyed that freedom. We had good chuckles and strolling down the street and ended up in Chapters. Vivian was in 7th's Heaven. She loves read and we stayed there till there is announcement about store closing. Grabbed a few books and we walked out with high spirits. I introduced her to the little "hole in the wall" which sells amazing Eastern Meditterannean food (Shawarma I believe). $6.25 and weighed like a lead in your hand. Vivian took a bite and exhaled in excitement "AMAZING, BEST EVER!" She ate the whole thing in a few blocks of walking on Granville heading home (about 10 pm at night, Granvill still quite lively. Oh, I love Vancouver, something magic in the air all the time.).
I don't know why I am writing blog now. Is it to keep a log about my yogi life? Is it a took to keep me motivated. A training log. So far, it has been hand in hand with my yoga practice and I seems to have a lot to write about. About my new findings, about the changes in me, about whatever. I am enjoying this.
Good night!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Reach the valley
Today is the day I have reached the valley. I have put so much in yesterday's sessions and I am feeling worn out today. I reduce a session today and I think that my body appreciated the consideration. It still cries when I went to 6:30 session. Shelly was teaching, intermediate and advanced. I don't think that my body likes that idea. It did cry and I am almost in tears in the class. I am a bit surprised the fact that I would like to cry. What am I? A baby?! Yes, I was. I also miss Daryl. Well, in short, I am whinny today (only to myself though). You see, body and mind are two different things. I totally experience it today. My mind keeps pushing and my body says when is enough. I have to be the mediator, let my body cry a bit, let my mind be happy that I still go and I still try. Here are the 3 in 1 - my body, my mind and me. Now body and mind are pretty easy to figure out, but who is "me"? Quite odd. Now 3 of us sitting together listening to the Beatles and blogging. We are somewhat in harmony right now. "It has been a hard day's night." Is that what I am hearing the Beatles singing? They sure understand me. It's all good now.
I was chatting with the girls at front desk afterwards and I summarized 3 teachers' energy. Christine totally energize me, Sjanne empower me so I tried so hard that I would be totally exhausted in the end, Shelly brings me new findings. Don't get me wrong, they all energize, empower and challenge me, but they do impress me with their distinctive qualities. Very good teachers!
Sitting in my Zen room reaching my euphoria, I did not think that I will get here today. Here I am:-)
I was chatting with the girls at front desk afterwards and I summarized 3 teachers' energy. Christine totally energize me, Sjanne empower me so I tried so hard that I would be totally exhausted in the end, Shelly brings me new findings. Don't get me wrong, they all energize, empower and challenge me, but they do impress me with their distinctive qualities. Very good teachers!
Sitting in my Zen room reaching my euphoria, I did not think that I will get here today. Here I am:-)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
an absolutely gorgeous day
Today I tried a new schedule. JianQin called and inspired me to go to 10 am class instead of 2 in the afternoon. We had a very nice lunch at Rodney afterwards. Back to office to do some work and went to 6:30 pm class. See, my work-yoga-sleep schedule works quite well. After the 6:30 session, I am a little exhausted. I gather enough energy to go grab some grocery at Urban Fair and hit home on my comfy couch. I am lucky that I am not hitting bed right away. I am really feeling it. A hot bath? I think that I might have enough energy for it.
Everyday I reached a new level. Yesterday was the "L" stand, well, today I managed to sweat at my wrist. Beads of sweats magically appeared after each strenuous poses. It is hard to believe that holding a position and be still could take that much of you. I tried not collapse before the teacher telling us to move to a downward dog pose or "wutonasana" (a pose that you fold your body up with all your extremities on the floor very close to each other and your head hugs your shim.). Now I treasure these time as they are "relaxing". See, it is all relative. I remember the first time I was asked to do dog pose and wutonasana, I can hardly get there let alone hold there. Now it is a breeze. Something to celebrate for sure. I am not trembling violently while I am holding warrior pose now. If I am in a good mindset, I can even fool people that I am in peace with my pose. My Shaolin martial art teacher should be happy to hear that. I was a very poor martial art student for sure. I am hoping to become a better yoga student.
I do pay a lot of attention to my sweats as I mentioned it over and over again, simply because I have never exert myself to sweat furiously before. What a pampered life I had! Something got to change before it is too late. I hate that I reached an age that I could not afford to exert myself and have to accept my feeble physical state. It will be a great sadness. I am glad that I caught myself before it is too late.
Although my body is exhausted and sore a bit (a nice kind of sore though), I know that it is looking forward to tomorrow's classes. How could I not go to bed in ecstasy and peace? I simply can't. Isn't life beautiful? Yes, I am feeling every bit of vitality in my body and feeling alive. I am loving it. Good night!
Everyday I reached a new level. Yesterday was the "L" stand, well, today I managed to sweat at my wrist. Beads of sweats magically appeared after each strenuous poses. It is hard to believe that holding a position and be still could take that much of you. I tried not collapse before the teacher telling us to move to a downward dog pose or "wutonasana" (a pose that you fold your body up with all your extremities on the floor very close to each other and your head hugs your shim.). Now I treasure these time as they are "relaxing". See, it is all relative. I remember the first time I was asked to do dog pose and wutonasana, I can hardly get there let alone hold there. Now it is a breeze. Something to celebrate for sure. I am not trembling violently while I am holding warrior pose now. If I am in a good mindset, I can even fool people that I am in peace with my pose. My Shaolin martial art teacher should be happy to hear that. I was a very poor martial art student for sure. I am hoping to become a better yoga student.
I do pay a lot of attention to my sweats as I mentioned it over and over again, simply because I have never exert myself to sweat furiously before. What a pampered life I had! Something got to change before it is too late. I hate that I reached an age that I could not afford to exert myself and have to accept my feeble physical state. It will be a great sadness. I am glad that I caught myself before it is too late.
Although my body is exhausted and sore a bit (a nice kind of sore though), I know that it is looking forward to tomorrow's classes. How could I not go to bed in ecstasy and peace? I simply can't. Isn't life beautiful? Yes, I am feeling every bit of vitality in my body and feeling alive. I am loving it. Good night!
happy finding
For a while, I thought that I would never get my toned body back(not so toned in my 20's, but it is relatively toned). I think that it is coming back and possibly will surpass my all time tone eventually. The changes come rather quickly and I did not feel any stressed joint pain from doing yoga. Instead, I feel all my joints are strengthened. I really like the result. The changes on my body and inside my body. They are tying together. I love the power within even as a beginner. I certainly want to keep up with the practice. When I am away from Vancouver, I need self discipline though. That one scares me but I am working on it. I should not be in fear of myself. I should check with the teachers today to get some insights how to stay in path when the support are not there (I mean the classes, teachers and groups).
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Back to Back Anusara
I missed the session in the morning so I decided to go for 2 back to back later in the afternoon. Christine then Sjanne, 2 teachers I really benefit from. I always feel more energetic after Christine's class, today was the same. I did "L" stand at Sjanne's class first try. I am very very happy. I almost feel that I am closer to handstand. Quite thrilling and uplifting feeling even though I was upside down. Christine did demonstration and I start to realize that hand stand is simply reverse of our normal stand. We are simply taught to stand straight up and if we reverse the function of our legs and our arms, walla, here comes hand stand. With that concept, I start to understand how I should stand. I just have to imagine that my arms are my legs, my shoulder blades are my butt cheeks. The feel starts to come. I am looking forward to my very first handstand. I don't know when it will come to me, but I am patient. Sounds odd, isn't it? I am patient?! Haha. You never know.
walking home, I feel my body pulling together, a youthful feeling. Ya.......
I am going to do back to back again tomorrow. My day is just getting better.
walking home, I feel my body pulling together, a youthful feeling. Ya.......
I am going to do back to back again tomorrow. My day is just getting better.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Empowered
It was a nice weekend indeed. We went to see Shawnigan Lake School`s musical play `Kiss Me Kate` in Duncan on Saturday. Well, I was totally blown away by the amazing performance of these amazing kids including Vivian who has done superb job doing makeups. It was not kind of school play I expected. I have never imagined that it would be so good. Now I really am sorry that I missed the first 2 years. Well, I certainly will not miss any now. Those kids have full schedule doing academics and sports. How they could pull off something so good I simply do not know. Of course, the teachers at SLS are certainly incredible if they manage to mold our kids into such fine young groups. Hats off to all of them!
Back to my Yoga lesson tonight. It was my first time at Sjanie's lesson. She is very empowering. I was nicely stirred or calmed (depends how you look at it) before the session starts. My doubt about how I would do at this lesson melted away and only has gentle determination or kind persuasion towards my body left to stay. It was not an easy one, but I pulled my strength together to get through 1 hour and half's pretty demanding session. As someone who does not sweat usually (I mean it literally), sweats kept dripping into my eyes, mouths and ears. Lots of upside down poses so the liquid had a free flowing time. I simply can't wait for tomorrow's sessions. It is a very good sign that I am actually looking forward to my lessons. Had some spicy wonton and pork dumplings at Yopo as my dinner. My life is complete.
Tomorrow is another beautiful day!
Back to my Yoga lesson tonight. It was my first time at Sjanie's lesson. She is very empowering. I was nicely stirred or calmed (depends how you look at it) before the session starts. My doubt about how I would do at this lesson melted away and only has gentle determination or kind persuasion towards my body left to stay. It was not an easy one, but I pulled my strength together to get through 1 hour and half's pretty demanding session. As someone who does not sweat usually (I mean it literally), sweats kept dripping into my eyes, mouths and ears. Lots of upside down poses so the liquid had a free flowing time. I simply can't wait for tomorrow's sessions. It is a very good sign that I am actually looking forward to my lessons. Had some spicy wonton and pork dumplings at Yopo as my dinner. My life is complete.
Tomorrow is another beautiful day!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Learn to pace myself
This morning I was quite wanting to go to Yoga class before I headed over to the island to see Shawnigan's musical. The class I could manage to is between 9:30 and 11. Then I have to rush to catch 12:30 Ferry. Very attempting indeed. I looked around my room. Things are a bit disorganized. There are laundry to be done. Paper to be sorted out. Things to pack. I could leave the mess behind and go do the Yoga or I can take a bit of time to organize things before I took off. I am glad that I stayed to do the chores. By the time I left, my room is way more organized and I was able to leave in the ease.
Why is it significant to mention? Knowing me in the past, I would choose to go to the class as it is what I wanted to do. I often don't know how to pace myself. I immersed myself in things I am passionate about and leave everything else in disarray. What I need to pay attention is my patience. Yoga is not a week or two mission, it is my commitment for my long term fitness and mind power. It can wait if this Saturday I could not manage to go. It can fit into my life with flow and grace. I can learn to take time to do something and do it well.
When I left home, I left with a smile inside. A smile for myself. I thank myself to not to react on my impulse.
A good day ahead and a good day being enjoyed right now.
Why is it significant to mention? Knowing me in the past, I would choose to go to the class as it is what I wanted to do. I often don't know how to pace myself. I immersed myself in things I am passionate about and leave everything else in disarray. What I need to pay attention is my patience. Yoga is not a week or two mission, it is my commitment for my long term fitness and mind power. It can wait if this Saturday I could not manage to go. It can fit into my life with flow and grace. I can learn to take time to do something and do it well.
When I left home, I left with a smile inside. A smile for myself. I thank myself to not to react on my impulse.
A good day ahead and a good day being enjoyed right now.
Friday, March 12, 2010
deviation
I went to the Yoga Dance Party tonight. It was not a good choice. Party was hosted in Gastown and it was not a pretty scene on the street at night. Quite eerie. I should have not gone because I did feel a bit of anxiety going there, but I thought that I have expected to go so I should see it through. The whole time I was there, I was not comfortable. Quite cold temperature wise and I did not have a great feeling. I was truly thankful that I did not convince my friend to come with me. It would be a disappointment for both of us. In this case, only me, so good damage control. I finally find a good opportunity to leave and I am thankful that I am home right now.
Well, I will simply stick with my Yoga lessons. I do enjoy them and will continue to enjoy them in a simple way.
Well, I will simply stick with my Yoga lessons. I do enjoy them and will continue to enjoy them in a simple way.
Morning Glory
This morning I switched my morning session from Power to Hot and it does not agree with me. The body refuses to do anything in 40 degree and at 7 in the morning. After a week of trying early morning sessions (Power+Yhot), I have concluded that it is not best for me to do that. I did not get out of Power and Hot as much as I get out of Anusara. Anusara is a fine middle ground for me. I am enjoying it more and more.
Last night Christine was teaching again. The session is about courage and humility. I can personally relate to that. I went through some dark points in my life and it took humility to have me come out of that pit and see that light. Courage grows out of humility as of humility is a rich soil which becomes a perfect bed for the seeds of courage to sprout. Yesterday was my one week anniversary of "serious" yoga. I has been strengthed in the past week. Time seems go slower now. I savor the moment more. I understand more or more accurately forget the need to understand. A seed inside me finally starts to germinate. What it will become I don't know but I know that it is benevolent.
Have a great day!
Last night Christine was teaching again. The session is about courage and humility. I can personally relate to that. I went through some dark points in my life and it took humility to have me come out of that pit and see that light. Courage grows out of humility as of humility is a rich soil which becomes a perfect bed for the seeds of courage to sprout. Yesterday was my one week anniversary of "serious" yoga. I has been strengthed in the past week. Time seems go slower now. I savor the moment more. I understand more or more accurately forget the need to understand. A seed inside me finally starts to germinate. What it will become I don't know but I know that it is benevolent.
Have a great day!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
The start of my day
Alarm woke me up at 6 am. By the time I get myself out of the door, I am a bit late for the Power session. It was raining and I ran a bit. Studio still allowed me to get in the session, but I was somewhat rushed. I was not ready when the session started. I struggled through a few poses and found that it was difficult for me to keep up with the pace. I did not have the power this morning to take up the challenge. So I relaxed and lied on my mat belly up going to a meditation to calm my mind. My mind is quite busy as I need to go to office to get a bunch of "to do"s out of my way today. After the session, I gently moved myself out of the room, chatted with Alex (instructor) and Shaun (another instructor) briefly and then gently floated myself out of the building and headed home. Although I did not follow the instructions through the session, it has helped me that I learnd not to force myself through challenges. In other words, I was not trying to achieve as I normally would have done. I am learning to be patient, to take the time I needed. It is rather new for me, the inner peace is growing in me like a little seed sprouting and I am tending it and watching it grow with amazement. I am feeling the love.
Sitting in the office right now and feel the need to write then I will immersed in my work fully engaged and willingly. Have a good day, everyone!
Sitting in the office right now and feel the need to write then I will immersed in my work fully engaged and willingly. Have a good day, everyone!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
A blissful state
Today I was suppose to do more office work. It did not happen. After the morning Power session, I realize that my back is very misaligned. Something is blocking me while I was doing the Yoga pose. I was not able to get to that pushing the limit stage at session. It becomes my priority to get my back fixed as soon as possible. Phoned Dr. Hoy for an appointment and was ready to beg an appointment then heard that he was not working on Wednesday. I have to get it down. The urge in me to get more out of Yoga session is so strong that I have to put aside all business and get that addressed. Walk out of home and headed to Urban Chiro in Yaletown. The clinic was not open and I chatted the young guy at reception while Dr. Kurji walked in. The young boy told me that today's appointments are all taken. He just did not know that I am determined to have one today regardless. I simply can not imagine to go to another session without my back be fixed. Doctor saw my determination and agreed to treat me before her day starts. Oh, I feel so good after the cracking. Someone has removed the board from my back and I CAN BENT. You guys do not know how excited I was when my back was adjusted. Imaging a session I can truly push my limit is so rewarding to me.
Christine was teaching Anusara this afternoon at 4:30 pm. It was nice surprise. I really like Christine. She is so gorgeous and giving out so much great energy. She is passionate. Running to her class this afternoon is more than perfect. Before the class start, I can feel the greatness and I anticipated the whole thing. It was amazing. I broke out a good sweat and was energized. After the session, I was not in a hurry to leave. Feel good to hang around so I sat down at the tea area. I am glad that I did. I met Christine and Allen. We had so much to talk about and killed an hour in brink of eyes. I came home and feel well and grounded. Oh, what a good way to end a day! Business is still at back of my mind and I am still mindful about it.
Christine was teaching Anusara this afternoon at 4:30 pm. It was nice surprise. I really like Christine. She is so gorgeous and giving out so much great energy. She is passionate. Running to her class this afternoon is more than perfect. Before the class start, I can feel the greatness and I anticipated the whole thing. It was amazing. I broke out a good sweat and was energized. After the session, I was not in a hurry to leave. Feel good to hang around so I sat down at the tea area. I am glad that I did. I met Christine and Allen. We had so much to talk about and killed an hour in brink of eyes. I came home and feel well and grounded. Oh, what a good way to end a day! Business is still at back of my mind and I am still mindful about it.
My Yogi Life
I went to Y Yoga for 6:45 am Power session. After the session heading to Urban Fair to get some supplies. While I was in Urban Fair, I broke out a smile whenever someone come towards me. It is not like that I don't smile to strangers before, but this time I feel the difference. The smile came within, something I will refer to as my core. I am fully aware the existence of my core, my inner strength. I only started Yoga class last Thursday out of blue. Friend of mine recommend it while we were having a casual lunch. I felt that I was so out of shape and I do need to do some fitness of some sort. I went to Y Yoga with no expectation simply hoping to find something decent that might motivate me to go on a regular basis. Well, I was stunned. I was enamored by my very first Yin session. I came to some sort of awareness that excited me and calmed me in the same time. When I finish the session, I was beaming and craving more. It was not easy, but I noticed the sutble changes in my body and soul. Yes, I say soul because it was not simply my mind, it went deep. Of course, I went for more. I tried out all the different lessons in Yaletown location in 3 days. What a ride!
I had to leave Vancouver to Victoria to see Vivian row at Regatta on Sunday. I left with unquenched thirsty for more lessons. Sure enough I was back yesterday and went to 2 sessions (Power + Yin) after work. My body was somewhat stiff at Power and I did my best. The Yin session was very relaxing, I think that I even got into a deep meditation stage. I was gentally persuading my body to be more flexible and have more strength. I had a bit to eat before my 12:30 pm ferry coming over and nothing after except water. My body was not hungry even after 10 pm. I did go to Urban Fair afterwards but they are closed. Walking home at night was so peaceful and inspiring. Set up an alarm to get up at 6 am to go to my morning Power session and I am glad that I did drag myself out of bed because the feeling after the session is so soothingly amazing. I would say that it is very close to euphoria. I did notice that I was a bit more flexible than yesterday and a bit more strength within me. That smile I had in Urban Fair is also a sign of strength. Oh, I love yoga, more so I love Y Yoga Yaletown!
I had to leave Vancouver to Victoria to see Vivian row at Regatta on Sunday. I left with unquenched thirsty for more lessons. Sure enough I was back yesterday and went to 2 sessions (Power + Yin) after work. My body was somewhat stiff at Power and I did my best. The Yin session was very relaxing, I think that I even got into a deep meditation stage. I was gentally persuading my body to be more flexible and have more strength. I had a bit to eat before my 12:30 pm ferry coming over and nothing after except water. My body was not hungry even after 10 pm. I did go to Urban Fair afterwards but they are closed. Walking home at night was so peaceful and inspiring. Set up an alarm to get up at 6 am to go to my morning Power session and I am glad that I did drag myself out of bed because the feeling after the session is so soothingly amazing. I would say that it is very close to euphoria. I did notice that I was a bit more flexible than yesterday and a bit more strength within me. That smile I had in Urban Fair is also a sign of strength. Oh, I love yoga, more so I love Y Yoga Yaletown!
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